The Colbert Report

Season 3

2007138 episodes

Episode 1
Ethan Nadelmann
Jan 8, 2007
Stephen opens the show disappointed that Saddam Hussein was suddenly hanged over the show's break. He responds to Lake Superior State University's ban of the word 'truthiness' in "Who's Attacking Me Now?", and gay.com's naming of Stephen as Person of the Year in "Who's Honoring Me Now?"; gives "Stephen's Sound Advice" for getting over the winter blues.
Episode 2
Jim Cramer
Jan 9, 2007
Freem replaces superstantial in the opening sequence. Stephen thanks former Archbishop of Warsaw Stanis³aw Wielgus for being caught in a Catholic Church scandal of a non-sexual nature; scorns Democrats for taking a day off Congress for the college football National Championship game, with quick suggestion of taking a day off for a Ontario Junior League Hockey game; begins new segment "We the MEdiator" to pick sides in celebrity feuds, featuring Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump, Angelina Jolie vs. Madonna, and Amitabh Bachchan vs. Shahrukh Khan; and ends the show in tribute to James Brown by declaring himself the new "hardest working man in show business".
Episode 3
David Kamp
Jan 10, 2007
Stephen criticizes Bush for not sending 300 million troops as Stephen advised the day before but he pardons him if this is "the only mistake he makes in this war". He then talks about illegal immigration in a new segment called "Invasion of the Country Snatchers" and about the new Democratic senator of Missouri and its liberal legislation in the Word-Segment. After the break there is a new episode of Stephen's Tek Jansen adventures.
Episode 4
Judy Woodruff
Jan 11, 2007
Stephen starts with another episode of his challenge "What Number is Stephen thinking of?" with a clip from 2005. He then celebrates 5 years of Guantanamo Bay and talks to the executive director of Human Rights Watch, Ken Roth. After that he does a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the finger", double-wagging Apple (claiming this is his first double-wag) for 1) changing their name to "Apple, Inc." and 2) bringing out the iPhone.
Episode 5
Alex Kuczynski
Jan 15, 2007
Wishing viewers a happy Martin Luther King Day, Stephen calls for a nationwide lie-in to refuse engaging in "anything at all", in the style of passive protest such as Rosa Parks, then attacks Senator Barbara Boxer for comments suggesting Condoleezza Rice has no personal ties to the Iraq War. Stephen praises the army for lowering recruitment expectations in order to be filled; channels last week's guest Jim Cramer for a new financial segment "Stephen's Bears and Balls" focusing on real estate, oil, Cingular's name change, soy milk, and beef jerkey.
Episode 6
Dinesh D'Souza
Jan 16, 2007
In anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday, Stephen lashes out at Jimmy the director for a squeaky chair. In a new segment "Invasion of the Country Snatchers", Stephen profiles immigration issues, from an Italian-descended anti-immigrant possible Presidential nominee, to a chain of pizza restaurants which accept pesos, segueing into Letters from Iwo Jima winning the Best foreign Film Golden Globe. In another "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report", Stephen covers David Beckham playing for Los Angeles, and an anti-Colbert movement of fans throwing teddy bears on the ice when the Saginaw Spirit played the Oshawa Generals in the Ontario Hockey League.
Episode 7
Richard Clarke
Jan 17, 2007
Still in anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday Stephen is more nervous than the day before, bringing out some cherished objects he plans to show O'Reilly the next day. He then talks about the NFL play-offs with Lynn Swann, trying to trash talk all teams except the New Orleans Saints who he favors. After the break "Better know a district" continues with Washington's 3rd congressional district representative, Brian Baird.
Episode 8
Bill O'Reilly
Jan 18, 2007
The big day is here, so Stephen is crazy with anticipation that Bill O'Reilly will be on the show, stating that his only goal with this show was to see this day, which makes him reveal a "Mission Accomplished" banner and open the last door on his "Bill O'Reilly advent calendar" (in which he finds Geraldo's mustache). He then turns back to US politics talking about Bush's plans to rise the troop levels in Iraq. He then talks about fights between celebrities on his segment "We the MEdiator", rethinking his last week's judgements.
Episode 9
Tom Schaller
Jan 22, 2007
Stephen is disappointed at the loss by the New Orleans Saints to the Chicago "God-less killing Machines" Bears. In another "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?", Stephen calls out Bill Clinton for speaking at Knox College after Colbert already had, and artist Terence Koh for selling sperm (in his art) after Stephen's Formula 401 line. The Word is based on the refusal of Alberto Gonzales to admit a right of the people not stated specifically in the Constitution. In another "Stephen Colbert's Balls For Kidz", gambling is discussed.
Episode 10
Michael S. Steele
Jan 23, 2007
Stephen explains that this is the second of two episodes they taped on January 22, so that he can host a State of the Union address party on the 23rd. Russ Lieber appears in-studio to comment on new laws of the Democrat-controlled Congress. A new Threatdown is "Media Watchdog" themed.
Episode 11
Lou Dobbs
Jan 24, 2007
Lou Dobbs, author of War on the Middle Class, faces the truth hammer when he sits down to talk with Stephen.
Episode 12
Mike Wallace
Jan 25, 2007
Bill O'Reilly spills the beans on Stephen, and says what he really thought of him on his show. Stephen interviews Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit. And he doesn't like how he stands on the SMU dispute over Bush's library.
Episode 13
Barry Lando
Jan 29, 2007
Colbert wins bet with mayor of Oshawa after Saginaw Spirit defeated Oshawa Generals. Colbert discusses Microsoft paying someone for Wikipedia edits, and concludes that reality has become a commodity. Wag of the finger to Scientology, which named Tom Cruise as the "Christ" of the cult.
Episode 14
Donna Shalala
Jan 30, 2007
Stephen opens the show by showing a clip from Fox News' Fox and Friends, talking about the invisible beam that makes a person think he is on fire. Stephen then talks about how he stole his neighbor's New York Times and argues with David Leonhardt about what one could do with $1.2 trillion. This is followed by a new segment, "Judge, Jury, and Executioner" and ends by revealing the new microwave (fitted with a Colbert Report logo) which he would be sending to Bill O'Reilly after stealing his earlier.
Episode 15
Jed Babbin
Jan 31, 2007
Stephen opens the show by discussing the "problem" with Global Warming and in protest replaces Bobby with a 5000 Watt heat lamp. This is followed by the return of the "On Notice" board and the introduction of the "Fantasies" board. Jane Fonda (his fantasy) and The Weather Channel are placed on notice and Lutherans and E Street Band are taken off. This is followed by the 39th installment of Better Know a District, with New York's 6th congressional district representative,Gregory Meeks.
Episode 16
Chuck Schumer
Feb 1, 2007
Stephen comments on the 2007 Boston Mooninite Scare that occurred in Boston and laments the fact that he can no longer proceed with his obviously threatening-looking advertisements. This is followed by the "Movies Destroying America" segment, commenting on Steve Carrell's nomination and Ellen DeGeneres hosting. The show is ended by Stephen presenting "The Most Poetic F#@king Thing I've Ever Heard"
Episode 17
Wendy Kopp
Feb 5, 2007
Stephen is ecstatic at the slaughtering the Bears underwent in Super Bowl XLI. Also, he introduces a new product "Formula 419" (A combination of his Formula 401 and 18, Peyton Manning's Jersey number). Then, Stephen notes that Stephen Jr. has returned from Canada and back into Washington (unfortunately in Washington's 3rd, where Better Known representative Brian Baird has lobbied for a new hunting law).
Episode 18
Charlie LeDuff
Feb 6, 2007
Stephen receives a message from Master Media International that they would be praying on his behalf on February 22. This is followed by the 40th installment of Better Know A District (Ohio's 18th with congressman Zack Space).
Episode 19
Steven Pinker
Feb 7, 2007
Stephen starts by introducing a new segment, "California Values Watch". After addressing San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's recent problems. Then talks about the controversy stirred between Representatives Loretta Sanchez and Joe Baca. This is followed by the series finale of Tek Jansen.
Episode 20
Debra Dickerson
Feb 8, 2007
Stephen starts by talking about the astronaut incident on the news and especially that everyone talks about Lisa Nowak wearing a diaper, admitting that he too wears a diaper during his workday. He then claims that Henry Kissinger called him to get him to run for president, which he says he will "not" do (or will he?) but he has formed an exploratory committee on whether to form an exploratory committee.
Episode 21
Michael Oppenheimer
Feb 12, 2007
Stephen starts by dancing/singing "My Humps" behind his desk and discusses Grammys. He then talks about criticism of the Iraq War transitioning into "The Word." This is followed by a "Tip of the Hat - Wag of the Finger" segment, in which he commends Australian Prime Minister John Howard for his attack on Barack Obama, but also chastises him for attacking an American citizen.
Episode 22
Sheryl WuDunn
Feb 13, 2007
Colbert talks about the Chinese Menace, entitling a Colbert Report special report "Apocalypse Mao: Murdered By The Orient's Success".
Episode 23
Lance Armstrong
Feb 14, 2007
Stephen makes correction, that the Chinese have four times more population than the US, not three. Colbert admonishes people teaching seniors about sex. Sport Report: about the Westminster Dog Show, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and mentions that the Saginaw Spirit had reached the playoffs.
Episode 24
Shashi Tharoor
Feb 15, 2007
Colbert talks about how Mastermedia International will pray for him on February 22nd. Asks J. J. Abrams how his prayer day went, with photo of Jimmie "J.J." Walker showing. Then he moves on, to talking about Helen Thomas losing her front row seat at the White House press room. Interviews Candice Bergen by phone about her prayer day too. Better Know A District guest was Vic Snyder from Arkansas's 2nd congressional district.
Episode 25
Zev Chafets
Feb 26, 2007
Stephen compares Britain leaving Iraq to Britain leaving the U.S. and India - saying it will cause a flourish of Democracy.
Episode 26
Craig Venter
Feb 27, 2007
Stephen comments on a recent report about Al Gore's energy usage. Outdoor Life Magazine fires a columnist for calling for an assault rifle ban, an action Stephen commends in the Word. Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle is named a top mascot, behind only the Toronto Raptor. As a result, the Toronto Raptors are moved from "on notice" to "dead to me." Tip/Wag: Wag to Bilk (Japanese beer + milk company), Tip to 107-year-old Chan Chi.
Episode 27
Nina Jablonski
Feb 28, 2007
Colbert comments on how David Geffen has switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama. Then he mentions how Tom Vilsack chickened out of the presidential race, and interviews him in a new segment, Profiles In Quitters. And Problems Without Solutions, special report about SAHD's (Stay-at-home dad's), which Stephen says is against nature's laws.
Episode 28
Larry King
Mar 1, 2007
Mr. Colbert thanks those who prayed for him last Thursday, with his prayer hat and foam fingers. Also he comments on the coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith story. Better Know A District guest was Steve Cohen from Tennessee's 9th congressional district.
Episode 29
Ben & Jerry
Mar 5, 2007
Stephen comments on how many politicians have visited Walter Reed Hospital since the scandal. Ben and Jerry appeared to promote their new ice cream flavor named in honor of Stephen. Bears & Balls segment about recent economic fluctuations. And Mara Vanderslice talked about how Democrats can adapt to reach out to Christians.
Episode 30
Mark Frauenfelder
Mar 6, 2007
Stephen brags about winning the Mega Millions drawing, which hadn't happened yet. In this segment he also mocks Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone. Then he talks about how Lewis "Scooter" Libby was found Not Guilty on 1 of the 5 counts. In The Word segment, Colbert commends doctors who refuse to treat patients for religious reasons. ThreatDown segment: No. 1 was Gravity.
Episode 31
Michael Specter
Mar 7, 2007
Colbert makes a rare correction about winning Mega Millions drawing, and calls his boss Sumner Redstone to grovel. The Word was about removing the military Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Then there was 2007's first installment of "Easter Under Attack": proposed Easter bunny name change to spring bunny. And Michael Specter talks about Vladimir Putin's suppression of and mysterious deaths of journalists in Russia.
Episode 32
Ted Koppel
Mar 8, 2007
Stephen wonders why the media is still discussing the Libby trial. Then he talks about the death of Captain America, and adds more in The Word. Better Know A District guest was John Yarmuth from Kentucky's 3rd congressional district.
Episode 33
Nicholas Kristof
Mar 12, 2007
Stephen upbraids Bill Gates for giving charitably to other nations while bemoaning America's faltering competitiveness. He retracts his disparaging comments about Captain America when he learns that the superhero has bequeathed him his shield.
Episode 34
Michael Eric Dyson
Mar 13, 2007
Stephen closes the show by announcing The Word ("Goodnight"), after which the credits roll.
Episode 35
Ed Viesturs
Mar 14, 2007
Colbert introduces a new segment, "When Ancestors Attack." Then he mentions how Colorado has made John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" their second official song. Sport Report: advice on filling out March Madness brackets.
Episode 36
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Mar 15, 2007
Stephen celebrates the last St. Patrick's Day ever! Then he moves on to how Latin America has so many rabid admirers of President Bush, with comments from Esteban Colberto. In the 44th installment of Better Know A District, the guest was Phil Hare of Illinois's 17th congressional district.
Episode 37
Jerome Groopman
Mar 19, 2007
Stephen talks about the latest attack in DC, on him, by Rahm Emanuel.[2] The Word refers to South Carolina proposing to allow prisoners to donate organs to reduce jail time. Threatdown: 5.Angry seniors, 4.Dancing seniors, 3.Time Magazine, 2.Fertility clinics, 1.the FDA. And the "Alpha Dog Of the Week" was awarded to Robert Hancock of Carterville, Illinois.
Episode 38
Willie Nelson
Mar 20, 2007
While unveiling threat # .5 as an addendum to yesterday's threatdown, Stephen finds himself in agreement with a German environmentalist over the euthanasia of Knut, a polar bear cub at the Berlin zoo, until Stephen becomes suddenly enamored when viewing footage of the cub. Later, Colbert collects on a hockey bet with the mayor of Oshawa, Ontario, wherein this day would become "Stephen Colbert Day" in the town; the day was chosen to be the same day as the mayor's birthday.
Episode 39
Benjamin Barber
Mar 21, 2007
In the 45th installment of Better Know A District, the guest was Maurice Hinchey from New York's 22nd congressional district.
Episode 40
Katie Couric
Mar 22, 2007
Debate over DC-residents voting bill with Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Criticism over Chicago Sun-Times face reading expert Rose Rosetree's interpretation of Stephen's facial features. Phone conversation with Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit about the Ontario Hockey League playoffs.
Episode 41
Gwen Ifill
Mar 26, 2007
Stephen expressed his anger that a severed mummy hand was recently sold at auction, but not to him; the hand was the earliest example of we're No. #1. In response to Rahm Emanuel's practice of discouraging fellow congresspeople to decline interviews with Stephen Colbert, Stephen played an interview of him conducted by PBS's Gwen Ifill rife with potential misinterpretations.
Episode 42
Madeleine Albright
Mar 27, 2007
Stephen chided Sean Penn for his blunt criticism of the Bush administration. Stephen discusses Iran, specifically a clash over religion, with former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright who took the opportunity to promote her new book The Mighty and the Almighty: Reflections on America, God, and World Affairs.
Episode 43
Jabari Asim
Mar 28, 2007
Stephen displayed his disappointment at the elimination of Paulina Porizkova from Dancing with the Stars, especially given that her husband Ric Ocasek is a friend of the show. Stephen discussed oil found in the Arctic Ocean near Russia, and an attempt to add Italy to the Axis of Evil led to an uncharacteristic breakdown. Later, Stephen discussed the N-word with author Jabari Asim, who wrote a book on the subject.
Episode 44
Clive James
Mar 29, 2007
First, Stephen questioned the necessity of the Equal Rights Amendment, since everyone should be on the honor system. Later, Stephen cited the promulgation of John McCain that Sadr City is much safer than it was three months ago thanks to the military surge, despite the first-hand reports by Michael Ware that it is not safe for an American to leave the Green Zone. In response, Stephen suggested that Americans think of Iraq's capitol as Neverland.
Episode 45
Colin Beavan
Apr 9, 2007
Colbert celebrates the 4th anniversary of the liberation of Baghdad, while he eats his "Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream" ice cream. He continues to eat it through the show. And announces that is now the number one flavor of Ben and Jerry's. He also runs an empty microwave in response to a family's attempt to live a "no environmental impact" lifestyle. Also in a fake radio show, Stephen insults Hungarians, reminiscent of the Don Imus scandal.
Episode 46
Jeannette Walls
Apr 10, 2007
Stephen scolded the 15 British sailors whom after recently returning from captivity in Iran were seeking to publish accounts of their experience. In "The Word", he talked about America's bogus health care crisis. Stephen then changed the subject to an ethnic remark that he made against Hungarians on his fictional radio show, Colbert On the Ert (pronounced "air"), in which he described Hungarians as "those paprika-snorting ghoulies."
Episode 47
Vali Nasr
Apr 11, 2007
Stephen introduced the latest eponymic animal, Stephanie Colburtle, one of the leatherback sea turtles being tracked from Costa Rica to the Galapagos Islands. In "The Word", Stephen revisited Monday's story about the 15 British sailors; in response to a British colonel making the distinction between the soldiers' experiences and reality TV, Stephen devised the notion that perhaps Americans should "make the war a reality show" to achieve success in Iraq and to prepare for a future "spin-off in Iraq."
Episode 48
Dr. Richard Land
Apr 12, 2007
Stephen criticized Democratic senator Harry Reid for using "politicizing the war in Iraq" by citing a translation of a recent speech by Pope Benedict XVI. In "The Wørd," Stephen praised the president for proposing a new "war czar" position that would "chiefly be in command" of managing wars. Later aired a video describing Stephen's building manager Tad's quest to find a female companion for Stephen Jr., the eponymous bald eagle being tracked by GPS.
Episode 49
John Kerry
Apr 16, 2007
Stephen begins by issuing a correction for having called Boyd K. Packer the "Mormon Pope" or "Mope," when he is more of a Mormon Cardinal, or "Mardinal." Colbert then compares Don Imus' firing with upcoming testimony of Alberto Gonzales before Congress regarding the U.S. Attorney firings scandal.
Episode 50
Elaine Pagels
Apr 17, 2007
Stephen announced that he will be having a metaphor-off with Sean Penn on Thursday's show. Update on Stephanie Colburtle the turtle who was in 2nd place at the time of broadcast on the race to the Galápagos Islands, by some logic "proving Darwin wrong." Short mention of Iraqi insurgents.
Episode 51
Paulina Porizkova
Apr 18, 2007
On Who's NOT honoring me now, Stephen complained that he was not being awarded a Pulitzer Prize in journalism. In "The Word," Stephen suggested the corporate sponsorship of the War on Terror since the "War on Terror is more than a name." Video showed promoting bovine growth hormones in dairy cows.
Episode 52
Sean Penn
Apr 19, 2007
Stephen balks at a scientific study saying that chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Word," he talks about John Edwards' $400 haircut and considers him going over to the Republican party. Colbert then interviews Sean Penn, and leads to a Meta-Free-Phor-All hosted by Pinsky (the decider of topics for the rounds used humorous pictures and sound effects in the style of The Daily Show's "God Machine," which Colbert usually took part in).
Episode 53
Russell Simmons
Apr 23, 2007
Episode 54
Dr. Andrew Weil
Apr 24, 2007
The first act opens with a remembrance of Boris Yeltsin. Stephen continues with a combative interview with Eleanor Holmes Norton regarding a recent bill to give the District of Columbia a vote in the U.S. House of Representatives. In "The Word," Stephen comments on EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson's announcement that the Bush Administration's anti-global warming efforts are delivering "real results".
Episode 55
David Walker
Apr 25, 2007
Colbert decides that a new name is necessary for the long war, and comes up with Freemerican Victernity Made in China. He then backs the idea of having illegal immigrants fight in the armed services in exchange for citizenship. He points out his position on the cover of GQ, then complains about the Four Horsemen of the A-pop-calypse: movies, television, music, and books.
Episode 56
Madeleine Bordallo
Apr 26, 2007
Stephen is unhappy at the fact that Stephanie Colburtle The Turtle did not win The Great Turtle Race, after being bested by another turtle named Billy. He claims Billy is a male, and demands a re-race. (After explaining that one can tell the sex of a turtle by the concavity of its plastron, Stephen says that he checks the plastron on "all [his] dates, and if it's not concave, [he is] outta there."
Episode 57
Neil deGrasse Tyson / Bill Bradley
Apr 30, 2007
"It's the last day of April. One more month 'till Speedo season! Do your squats. This is The Colbert Report.
Episode 58
Malcolm Gladwell
May 1, 2007
Episode 59
Gina Kolata
May 2, 2007
Episode 60
Conn Iggulden
May 3, 2007
Episode 61
Richard Preston
May 7, 2007
Episode 62
Nassi Nicholas Taleb
May 8, 2007
Episode 63
Salman Rushdie, Jane Fonda
May 9, 2007
Episode 64
Jann Wenner
May 10, 2007
Episode 65
William Langewiesche
May 14, 2007
Episode 66
Walter Isaacson
May 15, 2007
Episode 67
Howard Dean
May 16, 2007
Episode 68
Randy Kearse, Rep. Tom Delay
May 17, 2007
Episode 69
Jared Diamond
May 21, 2007
Episode 70
John Amaechi
May 22, 2007
Episode 71
Bay Buchanan, Bob Deans
May 23, 2007
Episode 72
Jimmy Wales
May 24, 2007
Episode 73
Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Leon Botstein
Jun 4, 2007
Episode 74
Jessica Valenti
Jun 5, 2007
Episode 75
Carl Bernstein
Jun 6, 2007
Episode 76
Cullen Murphy
Jun 7, 2007
Episode 77
Dr. Michael D. Gershon
Jun 11, 2007
Episode 78
Josh Wolf
Jun 12, 2007
Episode 79
Rep. Ron Paul
Jun 13, 2007
Episode 80
Daniel B. Smith
Jun 14, 2007
Episode 81
Toby Keith
Jun 18, 2007
Episode 82
Anne-Marie Slaughter
Jun 19, 2007
Episode 83
Will Schwalbe
Jun 20, 2007
Episode 84
Vincent Bugliosi
Jun 21, 2007
Episode 85
Tom Hayden
Jun 25, 2007
Episode 86
David France
Jun 26, 2007
Episode 87
Tom Blanton, Daniel Gilbert
Jun 27, 2007
Episode 88
Doug Bailey
Jun 28, 2007
Episode 89
Richard Florida, Ben Nelson
Jul 16, 2007
Episode 90
Mark Moffett
Jul 17, 2007
Episode 91
John Mellencamp
Jul 18, 2007
Episode 92
Frank Sulloway
Jul 19, 2007
Episode 93
Simon Schama
Jul 23, 2007
Episode 94
Anthony D. Romero
Jul 24, 2007
Episode 95
Charles Kaiser
Jul 25, 2007
Episode 96
Robert Shrum
Jul 26, 2007
Episode 97
Evan Osnos
Jul 30, 2007
Episode 98
Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
Jul 31, 2007
Episode 99
Michael Beschloss
Aug 1, 2007
Episode 100
Michael J. Behe
Aug 2, 2007
Episode 101
Ian Bogost
Aug 7, 2007
Episode 102
Jim Cramer, Tina Brown
Aug 8, 2007
Episode 103
Judd Apatow
Aug 9, 2007
Episode 104
Michael Jacobson
Aug 13, 2007
Episode 105
Jerry Miller, Spencer Wells
Aug 14, 2007
Episode 106
Michael Wallis
Aug 15, 2007
From the previous episode, Stephen again mentions the possibility that his ancestors were Jewish. He then discusses perceived inflammatory speech on the Daily Kos website and interviews the website's founder, Markos Moulitsas. In the "Monkey on the Lam" segment, Stephen talks about a capuchin monkey that picked the lock on his cage door at a zoo in Tupelo, Mississippi for the second time in two weeks. He then discusses Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' failure to meet his potential. Finally, Stephen interviews Michael Wallis about the Lincoln Highway.
Episode 107
Mike Huckabee
Aug 16, 2007
Stephen begins by asking people not to watch his interview with Richard Branson on August 22, which has been reported in the media as a "trainwreck." Stephen then interviews Mike Huckabee, claiming that he came second in the Iowa Straw Poll due to his appearances on The Colbert Report, and what Stephen claims is the "Colbert Bump."
Episode 108
Nathan Sawaya
Aug 20, 2007
Stephen continues to attack wrist violence, and says the worst offender in "Wrist snuff" is Steven Seagal. He also announces that his "WristStrong" wristbands are now available from colbertneation.com, and all proceeds go to help the Yellow Ribbon Fund. Stephen introduces a new segement, "Nailed 'Em", focusing on successful stories in the criminal justice system.
Episode 109
Michael Shermer
Aug 21, 2007
Stephen starts with the \"Smokin\' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches\" segment, where he attacks Canada\'s claim to the Northwest Passage through the Arctic, claiming it belongs to the United States. In \"The Word,\" Stephen attacks WikiScanner claiming it prevents corporations from editing their own entries, and describes Wikipedia as, \"Second Life for corporations\".
Episode 110
Richard Branson
Aug 22, 2007
In \"Colbert Platinum\", he talks about the shutting down of a helipad in Saint-Tropez and the growing demand for champagne. He then interviews Richard Branson about Virgin America and \"Air Colbert\". However, as the interview goes on, Branson and Stephen throw water over each other.
Episode 111
Thomas E. Ricks
Aug 23, 2007
Stephen reviews the Iraq War and Dick Cheney\'s role in advocating it. He then interviews Thomas E. Ricks about the war. Stephen then talks about his broken wrist and shows a documentary film entitled Fractured Freedom: The Stephen Colbert Story. He announces that several people had signed his cast, including Nancy Pelosi, Tim Russert, Tony Snow, Brian Williams, Bill O\'Reilly and Michael Bloomberg.
Episode 112
Bjorn Lomborg
Sep 10, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the former director of the Environmental Assessment Institute and author of Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist’s Guide to Global Warming, Bjorn Lomborg.
Episode 113
Garrison Keillor
Sep 11, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes humorist and author of Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor.
Episode 114
Joel Klein
Sep 12, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chancellor of New York City Schools, Joel Klein.
Episode 115
Ed Begley Jr
Sep 13, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actor and environmental activist and co-author of Grassroots Rising, Ed Begley jr. Also Stephen talks with Father James Martin, author of My Life with the Saints, over recent revelations regarding Mother Teresa having doubts about God.
Episode 116
Susan Sarandon
Sep 18, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actress and activist and the co-star of In the Valley of Elah, Susan Sarandon.
Episode 117
Naomi Wolf
Sep 19, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes feminist and author of The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot, Naomi Wolf
Episode 118
Jeffrey Toobin
Sep 20, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes legal writer and author of The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, Jeffrey Toobin.
Episode 119
Thomas Friedman
Sep 24, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Times columnist and author of The World is Flat [Updated and Expanded]: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, Thomas Firedman
Episode 120
John Grisham
Sep 25, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes retired attorney and author of Playing For Pizza, John Grisham.
Episode 121
Tony Bennett
Sep 26, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes opera singer Nathan Gunn, whose new CD is Just Before Sunrise.
Episode 122
David Schwartz
Sep 27, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief film curator of the Museum of Moving Image, David Schwartz.
Episode 123
Charlie Savage
Oct 1, 2007
Episode 124
John Mearsheimer
Oct 2, 2007
Episode 125
Jim Lovell
Oct 3, 2007
Episode 126
John Kao
Oct 4, 2007
Episode 127
George Saunders
Oct 8, 2007
Episode 128
Stephen Colbert
Oct 9, 2007
Episode 129
Gen. Wesley Clark
Oct 10, 2007
Episode 130
Chris Jordan
Oct 11, 2007
Episode 131
Paul Glastris
Oct 15, 2007
Episode 132
Bob Drogin
Oct 16, 2007
Episode 133
Garry Kasparov
Oct 17, 2007
Episode 134
Craig Newmark
Oct 18, 2007
Episode 135
Richard Berman
Oct 29, 2007
Episode 136
Craig Venter
Oct 30, 2007
Episode 137
Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
Oct 31, 2007
Episode 138
Walter Kirn
Nov 1, 2007

The Colbert Report

Season 3

2007138 episodes

Episode 1
Ethan Nadelmann
Jan 8, 2007
Stephen opens the show disappointed that Saddam Hussein was suddenly hanged over the show's break. He responds to Lake Superior State University's ban of the word 'truthiness' in "Who's Attacking Me Now?", and gay.com's naming of Stephen as Person of the Year in "Who's Honoring Me Now?"; gives "Stephen's Sound Advice" for getting over the winter blues.
Episode 2
Jim Cramer
Jan 9, 2007
Freem replaces superstantial in the opening sequence. Stephen thanks former Archbishop of Warsaw Stanis³aw Wielgus for being caught in a Catholic Church scandal of a non-sexual nature; scorns Democrats for taking a day off Congress for the college football National Championship game, with quick suggestion of taking a day off for a Ontario Junior League Hockey game; begins new segment "We the MEdiator" to pick sides in celebrity feuds, featuring Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump, Angelina Jolie vs. Madonna, and Amitabh Bachchan vs. Shahrukh Khan; and ends the show in tribute to James Brown by declaring himself the new "hardest working man in show business".
Episode 3
David Kamp
Jan 10, 2007
Stephen criticizes Bush for not sending 300 million troops as Stephen advised the day before but he pardons him if this is "the only mistake he makes in this war". He then talks about illegal immigration in a new segment called "Invasion of the Country Snatchers" and about the new Democratic senator of Missouri and its liberal legislation in the Word-Segment. After the break there is a new episode of Stephen's Tek Jansen adventures.
Episode 4
Judy Woodruff
Jan 11, 2007
Stephen starts with another episode of his challenge "What Number is Stephen thinking of?" with a clip from 2005. He then celebrates 5 years of Guantanamo Bay and talks to the executive director of Human Rights Watch, Ken Roth. After that he does a "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the finger", double-wagging Apple (claiming this is his first double-wag) for 1) changing their name to "Apple, Inc." and 2) bringing out the iPhone.
Episode 5
Alex Kuczynski
Jan 15, 2007
Wishing viewers a happy Martin Luther King Day, Stephen calls for a nationwide lie-in to refuse engaging in "anything at all", in the style of passive protest such as Rosa Parks, then attacks Senator Barbara Boxer for comments suggesting Condoleezza Rice has no personal ties to the Iraq War. Stephen praises the army for lowering recruitment expectations in order to be filled; channels last week's guest Jim Cramer for a new financial segment "Stephen's Bears and Balls" focusing on real estate, oil, Cingular's name change, soy milk, and beef jerkey.
Episode 6
Dinesh D'Souza
Jan 16, 2007
In anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday, Stephen lashes out at Jimmy the director for a squeaky chair. In a new segment "Invasion of the Country Snatchers", Stephen profiles immigration issues, from an Italian-descended anti-immigrant possible Presidential nominee, to a chain of pizza restaurants which accept pesos, segueing into Letters from Iwo Jima winning the Best foreign Film Golden Globe. In another "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report", Stephen covers David Beckham playing for Los Angeles, and an anti-Colbert movement of fans throwing teddy bears on the ice when the Saginaw Spirit played the Oshawa Generals in the Ontario Hockey League.
Episode 7
Richard Clarke
Jan 17, 2007
Still in anticipation of Bill O'Reilly arriving in-studio on Thursday Stephen is more nervous than the day before, bringing out some cherished objects he plans to show O'Reilly the next day. He then talks about the NFL play-offs with Lynn Swann, trying to trash talk all teams except the New Orleans Saints who he favors. After the break "Better know a district" continues with Washington's 3rd congressional district representative, Brian Baird.
Episode 8
Bill O'Reilly
Jan 18, 2007
The big day is here, so Stephen is crazy with anticipation that Bill O'Reilly will be on the show, stating that his only goal with this show was to see this day, which makes him reveal a "Mission Accomplished" banner and open the last door on his "Bill O'Reilly advent calendar" (in which he finds Geraldo's mustache). He then turns back to US politics talking about Bush's plans to rise the troop levels in Iraq. He then talks about fights between celebrities on his segment "We the MEdiator", rethinking his last week's judgements.
Episode 9
Tom Schaller
Jan 22, 2007
Stephen is disappointed at the loss by the New Orleans Saints to the Chicago "God-less killing Machines" Bears. In another "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?", Stephen calls out Bill Clinton for speaking at Knox College after Colbert already had, and artist Terence Koh for selling sperm (in his art) after Stephen's Formula 401 line. The Word is based on the refusal of Alberto Gonzales to admit a right of the people not stated specifically in the Constitution. In another "Stephen Colbert's Balls For Kidz", gambling is discussed.
Episode 10
Michael S. Steele
Jan 23, 2007
Stephen explains that this is the second of two episodes they taped on January 22, so that he can host a State of the Union address party on the 23rd. Russ Lieber appears in-studio to comment on new laws of the Democrat-controlled Congress. A new Threatdown is "Media Watchdog" themed.
Episode 11
Lou Dobbs
Jan 24, 2007
Lou Dobbs, author of War on the Middle Class, faces the truth hammer when he sits down to talk with Stephen.
Episode 12
Mike Wallace
Jan 25, 2007
Bill O'Reilly spills the beans on Stephen, and says what he really thought of him on his show. Stephen interviews Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit. And he doesn't like how he stands on the SMU dispute over Bush's library.
Episode 13
Barry Lando
Jan 29, 2007
Colbert wins bet with mayor of Oshawa after Saginaw Spirit defeated Oshawa Generals. Colbert discusses Microsoft paying someone for Wikipedia edits, and concludes that reality has become a commodity. Wag of the finger to Scientology, which named Tom Cruise as the "Christ" of the cult.
Episode 14
Donna Shalala
Jan 30, 2007
Stephen opens the show by showing a clip from Fox News' Fox and Friends, talking about the invisible beam that makes a person think he is on fire. Stephen then talks about how he stole his neighbor's New York Times and argues with David Leonhardt about what one could do with $1.2 trillion. This is followed by a new segment, "Judge, Jury, and Executioner" and ends by revealing the new microwave (fitted with a Colbert Report logo) which he would be sending to Bill O'Reilly after stealing his earlier.
Episode 15
Jed Babbin
Jan 31, 2007
Stephen opens the show by discussing the "problem" with Global Warming and in protest replaces Bobby with a 5000 Watt heat lamp. This is followed by the return of the "On Notice" board and the introduction of the "Fantasies" board. Jane Fonda (his fantasy) and The Weather Channel are placed on notice and Lutherans and E Street Band are taken off. This is followed by the 39th installment of Better Know a District, with New York's 6th congressional district representative,Gregory Meeks.
Episode 16
Chuck Schumer
Feb 1, 2007
Stephen comments on the 2007 Boston Mooninite Scare that occurred in Boston and laments the fact that he can no longer proceed with his obviously threatening-looking advertisements. This is followed by the "Movies Destroying America" segment, commenting on Steve Carrell's nomination and Ellen DeGeneres hosting. The show is ended by Stephen presenting "The Most Poetic F#@king Thing I've Ever Heard"
Episode 17
Wendy Kopp
Feb 5, 2007
Stephen is ecstatic at the slaughtering the Bears underwent in Super Bowl XLI. Also, he introduces a new product "Formula 419" (A combination of his Formula 401 and 18, Peyton Manning's Jersey number). Then, Stephen notes that Stephen Jr. has returned from Canada and back into Washington (unfortunately in Washington's 3rd, where Better Known representative Brian Baird has lobbied for a new hunting law).
Episode 18
Charlie LeDuff
Feb 6, 2007
Stephen receives a message from Master Media International that they would be praying on his behalf on February 22. This is followed by the 40th installment of Better Know A District (Ohio's 18th with congressman Zack Space).
Episode 19
Steven Pinker
Feb 7, 2007
Stephen starts by introducing a new segment, "California Values Watch". After addressing San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's recent problems. Then talks about the controversy stirred between Representatives Loretta Sanchez and Joe Baca. This is followed by the series finale of Tek Jansen.
Episode 20
Debra Dickerson
Feb 8, 2007
Stephen starts by talking about the astronaut incident on the news and especially that everyone talks about Lisa Nowak wearing a diaper, admitting that he too wears a diaper during his workday. He then claims that Henry Kissinger called him to get him to run for president, which he says he will "not" do (or will he?) but he has formed an exploratory committee on whether to form an exploratory committee.
Episode 21
Michael Oppenheimer
Feb 12, 2007
Stephen starts by dancing/singing "My Humps" behind his desk and discusses Grammys. He then talks about criticism of the Iraq War transitioning into "The Word." This is followed by a "Tip of the Hat - Wag of the Finger" segment, in which he commends Australian Prime Minister John Howard for his attack on Barack Obama, but also chastises him for attacking an American citizen.
Episode 22
Sheryl WuDunn
Feb 13, 2007
Colbert talks about the Chinese Menace, entitling a Colbert Report special report "Apocalypse Mao: Murdered By The Orient's Success".
Episode 23
Lance Armstrong
Feb 14, 2007
Stephen makes correction, that the Chinese have four times more population than the US, not three. Colbert admonishes people teaching seniors about sex. Sport Report: about the Westminster Dog Show, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, and mentions that the Saginaw Spirit had reached the playoffs.
Episode 24
Shashi Tharoor
Feb 15, 2007
Colbert talks about how Mastermedia International will pray for him on February 22nd. Asks J. J. Abrams how his prayer day went, with photo of Jimmie "J.J." Walker showing. Then he moves on, to talking about Helen Thomas losing her front row seat at the White House press room. Interviews Candice Bergen by phone about her prayer day too. Better Know A District guest was Vic Snyder from Arkansas's 2nd congressional district.
Episode 25
Zev Chafets
Feb 26, 2007
Stephen compares Britain leaving Iraq to Britain leaving the U.S. and India - saying it will cause a flourish of Democracy.
Episode 26
Craig Venter
Feb 27, 2007
Stephen comments on a recent report about Al Gore's energy usage. Outdoor Life Magazine fires a columnist for calling for an assault rifle ban, an action Stephen commends in the Word. Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle is named a top mascot, behind only the Toronto Raptor. As a result, the Toronto Raptors are moved from "on notice" to "dead to me." Tip/Wag: Wag to Bilk (Japanese beer + milk company), Tip to 107-year-old Chan Chi.
Episode 27
Nina Jablonski
Feb 28, 2007
Colbert comments on how David Geffen has switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama. Then he mentions how Tom Vilsack chickened out of the presidential race, and interviews him in a new segment, Profiles In Quitters. And Problems Without Solutions, special report about SAHD's (Stay-at-home dad's), which Stephen says is against nature's laws.
Episode 28
Larry King
Mar 1, 2007
Mr. Colbert thanks those who prayed for him last Thursday, with his prayer hat and foam fingers. Also he comments on the coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith story. Better Know A District guest was Steve Cohen from Tennessee's 9th congressional district.
Episode 29
Ben & Jerry
Mar 5, 2007
Stephen comments on how many politicians have visited Walter Reed Hospital since the scandal. Ben and Jerry appeared to promote their new ice cream flavor named in honor of Stephen. Bears & Balls segment about recent economic fluctuations. And Mara Vanderslice talked about how Democrats can adapt to reach out to Christians.
Episode 30
Mark Frauenfelder
Mar 6, 2007
Stephen brags about winning the Mega Millions drawing, which hadn't happened yet. In this segment he also mocks Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone. Then he talks about how Lewis "Scooter" Libby was found Not Guilty on 1 of the 5 counts. In The Word segment, Colbert commends doctors who refuse to treat patients for religious reasons. ThreatDown segment: No. 1 was Gravity.
Episode 31
Michael Specter
Mar 7, 2007
Colbert makes a rare correction about winning Mega Millions drawing, and calls his boss Sumner Redstone to grovel. The Word was about removing the military Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. Then there was 2007's first installment of "Easter Under Attack": proposed Easter bunny name change to spring bunny. And Michael Specter talks about Vladimir Putin's suppression of and mysterious deaths of journalists in Russia.
Episode 32
Ted Koppel
Mar 8, 2007
Stephen wonders why the media is still discussing the Libby trial. Then he talks about the death of Captain America, and adds more in The Word. Better Know A District guest was John Yarmuth from Kentucky's 3rd congressional district.
Episode 33
Nicholas Kristof
Mar 12, 2007
Stephen upbraids Bill Gates for giving charitably to other nations while bemoaning America's faltering competitiveness. He retracts his disparaging comments about Captain America when he learns that the superhero has bequeathed him his shield.
Episode 34
Michael Eric Dyson
Mar 13, 2007
Stephen closes the show by announcing The Word ("Goodnight"), after which the credits roll.
Episode 35
Ed Viesturs
Mar 14, 2007
Colbert introduces a new segment, "When Ancestors Attack." Then he mentions how Colorado has made John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" their second official song. Sport Report: advice on filling out March Madness brackets.
Episode 36
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Mar 15, 2007
Stephen celebrates the last St. Patrick's Day ever! Then he moves on to how Latin America has so many rabid admirers of President Bush, with comments from Esteban Colberto. In the 44th installment of Better Know A District, the guest was Phil Hare of Illinois's 17th congressional district.
Episode 37
Jerome Groopman
Mar 19, 2007
Stephen talks about the latest attack in DC, on him, by Rahm Emanuel.[2] The Word refers to South Carolina proposing to allow prisoners to donate organs to reduce jail time. Threatdown: 5.Angry seniors, 4.Dancing seniors, 3.Time Magazine, 2.Fertility clinics, 1.the FDA. And the "Alpha Dog Of the Week" was awarded to Robert Hancock of Carterville, Illinois.
Episode 38
Willie Nelson
Mar 20, 2007
While unveiling threat # .5 as an addendum to yesterday's threatdown, Stephen finds himself in agreement with a German environmentalist over the euthanasia of Knut, a polar bear cub at the Berlin zoo, until Stephen becomes suddenly enamored when viewing footage of the cub. Later, Colbert collects on a hockey bet with the mayor of Oshawa, Ontario, wherein this day would become "Stephen Colbert Day" in the town; the day was chosen to be the same day as the mayor's birthday.
Episode 39
Benjamin Barber
Mar 21, 2007
In the 45th installment of Better Know A District, the guest was Maurice Hinchey from New York's 22nd congressional district.
Episode 40
Katie Couric
Mar 22, 2007
Debate over DC-residents voting bill with Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. Criticism over Chicago Sun-Times face reading expert Rose Rosetree's interpretation of Stephen's facial features. Phone conversation with Coach Bob Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit about the Ontario Hockey League playoffs.
Episode 41
Gwen Ifill
Mar 26, 2007
Stephen expressed his anger that a severed mummy hand was recently sold at auction, but not to him; the hand was the earliest example of we're No. #1. In response to Rahm Emanuel's practice of discouraging fellow congresspeople to decline interviews with Stephen Colbert, Stephen played an interview of him conducted by PBS's Gwen Ifill rife with potential misinterpretations.
Episode 42
Madeleine Albright
Mar 27, 2007
Stephen chided Sean Penn for his blunt criticism of the Bush administration. Stephen discusses Iran, specifically a clash over religion, with former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright who took the opportunity to promote her new book The Mighty and the Almighty: Reflections on America, God, and World Affairs.
Episode 43
Jabari Asim
Mar 28, 2007
Stephen displayed his disappointment at the elimination of Paulina Porizkova from Dancing with the Stars, especially given that her husband Ric Ocasek is a friend of the show. Stephen discussed oil found in the Arctic Ocean near Russia, and an attempt to add Italy to the Axis of Evil led to an uncharacteristic breakdown. Later, Stephen discussed the N-word with author Jabari Asim, who wrote a book on the subject.
Episode 44
Clive James
Mar 29, 2007
First, Stephen questioned the necessity of the Equal Rights Amendment, since everyone should be on the honor system. Later, Stephen cited the promulgation of John McCain that Sadr City is much safer than it was three months ago thanks to the military surge, despite the first-hand reports by Michael Ware that it is not safe for an American to leave the Green Zone. In response, Stephen suggested that Americans think of Iraq's capitol as Neverland.
Episode 45
Colin Beavan
Apr 9, 2007
Colbert celebrates the 4th anniversary of the liberation of Baghdad, while he eats his "Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream" ice cream. He continues to eat it through the show. And announces that is now the number one flavor of Ben and Jerry's. He also runs an empty microwave in response to a family's attempt to live a "no environmental impact" lifestyle. Also in a fake radio show, Stephen insults Hungarians, reminiscent of the Don Imus scandal.
Episode 46
Jeannette Walls
Apr 10, 2007
Stephen scolded the 15 British sailors whom after recently returning from captivity in Iran were seeking to publish accounts of their experience. In "The Word", he talked about America's bogus health care crisis. Stephen then changed the subject to an ethnic remark that he made against Hungarians on his fictional radio show, Colbert On the Ert (pronounced "air"), in which he described Hungarians as "those paprika-snorting ghoulies."
Episode 47
Vali Nasr
Apr 11, 2007
Stephen introduced the latest eponymic animal, Stephanie Colburtle, one of the leatherback sea turtles being tracked from Costa Rica to the Galapagos Islands. In "The Word", Stephen revisited Monday's story about the 15 British sailors; in response to a British colonel making the distinction between the soldiers' experiences and reality TV, Stephen devised the notion that perhaps Americans should "make the war a reality show" to achieve success in Iraq and to prepare for a future "spin-off in Iraq."
Episode 48
Dr. Richard Land
Apr 12, 2007
Stephen criticized Democratic senator Harry Reid for using "politicizing the war in Iraq" by citing a translation of a recent speech by Pope Benedict XVI. In "The Wørd," Stephen praised the president for proposing a new "war czar" position that would "chiefly be in command" of managing wars. Later aired a video describing Stephen's building manager Tad's quest to find a female companion for Stephen Jr., the eponymous bald eagle being tracked by GPS.
Episode 49
John Kerry
Apr 16, 2007
Stephen begins by issuing a correction for having called Boyd K. Packer the "Mormon Pope" or "Mope," when he is more of a Mormon Cardinal, or "Mardinal." Colbert then compares Don Imus' firing with upcoming testimony of Alberto Gonzales before Congress regarding the U.S. Attorney firings scandal.
Episode 50
Elaine Pagels
Apr 17, 2007
Stephen announced that he will be having a metaphor-off with Sean Penn on Thursday's show. Update on Stephanie Colburtle the turtle who was in 2nd place at the time of broadcast on the race to the Galápagos Islands, by some logic "proving Darwin wrong." Short mention of Iraqi insurgents.
Episode 51
Paulina Porizkova
Apr 18, 2007
On Who's NOT honoring me now, Stephen complained that he was not being awarded a Pulitzer Prize in journalism. In "The Word," Stephen suggested the corporate sponsorship of the War on Terror since the "War on Terror is more than a name." Video showed promoting bovine growth hormones in dairy cows.
Episode 52
Sean Penn
Apr 19, 2007
Stephen balks at a scientific study saying that chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Word," he talks about John Edwards' $400 haircut and considers him going over to the Republican party. Colbert then interviews Sean Penn, and leads to a Meta-Free-Phor-All hosted by Pinsky (the decider of topics for the rounds used humorous pictures and sound effects in the style of The Daily Show's "God Machine," which Colbert usually took part in).
Episode 53
Russell Simmons
Apr 23, 2007
Episode 54
Dr. Andrew Weil
Apr 24, 2007
The first act opens with a remembrance of Boris Yeltsin. Stephen continues with a combative interview with Eleanor Holmes Norton regarding a recent bill to give the District of Columbia a vote in the U.S. House of Representatives. In "The Word," Stephen comments on EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson's announcement that the Bush Administration's anti-global warming efforts are delivering "real results".
Episode 55
David Walker
Apr 25, 2007
Colbert decides that a new name is necessary for the long war, and comes up with Freemerican Victernity Made in China. He then backs the idea of having illegal immigrants fight in the armed services in exchange for citizenship. He points out his position on the cover of GQ, then complains about the Four Horsemen of the A-pop-calypse: movies, television, music, and books.
Episode 56
Madeleine Bordallo
Apr 26, 2007
Stephen is unhappy at the fact that Stephanie Colburtle The Turtle did not win The Great Turtle Race, after being bested by another turtle named Billy. He claims Billy is a male, and demands a re-race. (After explaining that one can tell the sex of a turtle by the concavity of its plastron, Stephen says that he checks the plastron on "all [his] dates, and if it's not concave, [he is] outta there."
Episode 57
Neil deGrasse Tyson / Bill Bradley
Apr 30, 2007
"It's the last day of April. One more month 'till Speedo season! Do your squats. This is The Colbert Report.
Episode 58
Malcolm Gladwell
May 1, 2007
Episode 59
Gina Kolata
May 2, 2007
Episode 60
Conn Iggulden
May 3, 2007
Episode 61
Richard Preston
May 7, 2007
Episode 62
Nassi Nicholas Taleb
May 8, 2007
Episode 63
Salman Rushdie, Jane Fonda
May 9, 2007
Episode 64
Jann Wenner
May 10, 2007
Episode 65
William Langewiesche
May 14, 2007
Episode 66
Walter Isaacson
May 15, 2007
Episode 67
Howard Dean
May 16, 2007
Episode 68
Randy Kearse, Rep. Tom Delay
May 17, 2007
Episode 69
Jared Diamond
May 21, 2007
Episode 70
John Amaechi
May 22, 2007
Episode 71
Bay Buchanan, Bob Deans
May 23, 2007
Episode 72
Jimmy Wales
May 24, 2007
Episode 73
Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Leon Botstein
Jun 4, 2007
Episode 74
Jessica Valenti
Jun 5, 2007
Episode 75
Carl Bernstein
Jun 6, 2007
Episode 76
Cullen Murphy
Jun 7, 2007
Episode 77
Dr. Michael D. Gershon
Jun 11, 2007
Episode 78
Josh Wolf
Jun 12, 2007
Episode 79
Rep. Ron Paul
Jun 13, 2007
Episode 80
Daniel B. Smith
Jun 14, 2007
Episode 81
Toby Keith
Jun 18, 2007
Episode 82
Anne-Marie Slaughter
Jun 19, 2007
Episode 83
Will Schwalbe
Jun 20, 2007
Episode 84
Vincent Bugliosi
Jun 21, 2007
Episode 85
Tom Hayden
Jun 25, 2007
Episode 86
David France
Jun 26, 2007
Episode 87
Tom Blanton, Daniel Gilbert
Jun 27, 2007
Episode 88
Doug Bailey
Jun 28, 2007
Episode 89
Richard Florida, Ben Nelson
Jul 16, 2007
Episode 90
Mark Moffett
Jul 17, 2007
Episode 91
John Mellencamp
Jul 18, 2007
Episode 92
Frank Sulloway
Jul 19, 2007
Episode 93
Simon Schama
Jul 23, 2007
Episode 94
Anthony D. Romero
Jul 24, 2007
Episode 95
Charles Kaiser
Jul 25, 2007
Episode 96
Robert Shrum
Jul 26, 2007
Episode 97
Evan Osnos
Jul 30, 2007
Episode 98
Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
Jul 31, 2007
Episode 99
Michael Beschloss
Aug 1, 2007
Episode 100
Michael J. Behe
Aug 2, 2007
Episode 101
Ian Bogost
Aug 7, 2007
Episode 102
Jim Cramer, Tina Brown
Aug 8, 2007
Episode 103
Judd Apatow
Aug 9, 2007
Episode 104
Michael Jacobson
Aug 13, 2007
Episode 105
Jerry Miller, Spencer Wells
Aug 14, 2007
Episode 106
Michael Wallis
Aug 15, 2007
From the previous episode, Stephen again mentions the possibility that his ancestors were Jewish. He then discusses perceived inflammatory speech on the Daily Kos website and interviews the website's founder, Markos Moulitsas. In the "Monkey on the Lam" segment, Stephen talks about a capuchin monkey that picked the lock on his cage door at a zoo in Tupelo, Mississippi for the second time in two weeks. He then discusses Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' failure to meet his potential. Finally, Stephen interviews Michael Wallis about the Lincoln Highway.
Episode 107
Mike Huckabee
Aug 16, 2007
Stephen begins by asking people not to watch his interview with Richard Branson on August 22, which has been reported in the media as a "trainwreck." Stephen then interviews Mike Huckabee, claiming that he came second in the Iowa Straw Poll due to his appearances on The Colbert Report, and what Stephen claims is the "Colbert Bump."
Episode 108
Nathan Sawaya
Aug 20, 2007
Stephen continues to attack wrist violence, and says the worst offender in "Wrist snuff" is Steven Seagal. He also announces that his "WristStrong" wristbands are now available from colbertneation.com, and all proceeds go to help the Yellow Ribbon Fund. Stephen introduces a new segement, "Nailed 'Em", focusing on successful stories in the criminal justice system.
Episode 109
Michael Shermer
Aug 21, 2007
Stephen starts with the \"Smokin\' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches\" segment, where he attacks Canada\'s claim to the Northwest Passage through the Arctic, claiming it belongs to the United States. In \"The Word,\" Stephen attacks WikiScanner claiming it prevents corporations from editing their own entries, and describes Wikipedia as, \"Second Life for corporations\".
Episode 110
Richard Branson
Aug 22, 2007
In \"Colbert Platinum\", he talks about the shutting down of a helipad in Saint-Tropez and the growing demand for champagne. He then interviews Richard Branson about Virgin America and \"Air Colbert\". However, as the interview goes on, Branson and Stephen throw water over each other.
Episode 111
Thomas E. Ricks
Aug 23, 2007
Stephen reviews the Iraq War and Dick Cheney\'s role in advocating it. He then interviews Thomas E. Ricks about the war. Stephen then talks about his broken wrist and shows a documentary film entitled Fractured Freedom: The Stephen Colbert Story. He announces that several people had signed his cast, including Nancy Pelosi, Tim Russert, Tony Snow, Brian Williams, Bill O\'Reilly and Michael Bloomberg.
Episode 112
Bjorn Lomborg
Sep 10, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the former director of the Environmental Assessment Institute and author of Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist’s Guide to Global Warming, Bjorn Lomborg.
Episode 113
Garrison Keillor
Sep 11, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes humorist and author of Pontoon: A Novel of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor.
Episode 114
Joel Klein
Sep 12, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chancellor of New York City Schools, Joel Klein.
Episode 115
Ed Begley Jr
Sep 13, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actor and environmental activist and co-author of Grassroots Rising, Ed Begley jr. Also Stephen talks with Father James Martin, author of My Life with the Saints, over recent revelations regarding Mother Teresa having doubts about God.
Episode 116
Susan Sarandon
Sep 18, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes actress and activist and the co-star of In the Valley of Elah, Susan Sarandon.
Episode 117
Naomi Wolf
Sep 19, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes feminist and author of The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot, Naomi Wolf
Episode 118
Jeffrey Toobin
Sep 20, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes legal writer and author of The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, Jeffrey Toobin.
Episode 119
Thomas Friedman
Sep 24, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes New York Times columnist and author of The World is Flat [Updated and Expanded]: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, Thomas Firedman
Episode 120
John Grisham
Sep 25, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes retired attorney and author of Playing For Pizza, John Grisham.
Episode 121
Tony Bennett
Sep 26, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes opera singer Nathan Gunn, whose new CD is Just Before Sunrise.
Episode 122
David Schwartz
Sep 27, 2007
Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief film curator of the Museum of Moving Image, David Schwartz.
Episode 123
Charlie Savage
Oct 1, 2007
Episode 124
John Mearsheimer
Oct 2, 2007
Episode 125
Jim Lovell
Oct 3, 2007
Episode 126
John Kao
Oct 4, 2007
Episode 127
George Saunders
Oct 8, 2007
Episode 128
Stephen Colbert
Oct 9, 2007
Episode 129
Gen. Wesley Clark
Oct 10, 2007
Episode 130
Chris Jordan
Oct 11, 2007
Episode 131
Paul Glastris
Oct 15, 2007
Episode 132
Bob Drogin
Oct 16, 2007
Episode 133
Garry Kasparov
Oct 17, 2007
Episode 134
Craig Newmark
Oct 18, 2007
Episode 135
Richard Berman
Oct 29, 2007
Episode 136
Craig Venter
Oct 30, 2007
Episode 137
Col. Lawrence Wilkerson
Oct 31, 2007
Episode 138
Walter Kirn
Nov 1, 2007

Ethan Nadelmann

Jim Cramer

David Kamp

Judy Woodruff

Alex Kuczynski

Dinesh D'Souza

Richard Clarke

Bill O'Reilly

Tom Schaller

Michael S. Steele

Lou Dobbs

Mike Wallace

Barry Lando

Donna Shalala

Jed Babbin

Chuck Schumer

Wendy Kopp

Charlie LeDuff

Steven Pinker

Debra Dickerson

Michael Oppenheimer

Sheryl WuDunn

Lance Armstrong

Shashi Tharoor

Zev Chafets

Craig Venter

Nina Jablonski

Larry King

Ben & Jerry

Mark Frauenfelder

Michael Specter

Ted Koppel

Nicholas Kristof

Michael Eric Dyson

Ed Viesturs

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Jerome Groopman

Willie Nelson

Benjamin Barber

Katie Couric

Gwen Ifill

Madeleine Albright

Jabari Asim

Clive James

Colin Beavan

Jeannette Walls

Vali Nasr

Dr. Richard Land

John Kerry

Elaine Pagels

Paulina Porizkova

Sean Penn

Russell Simmons

Dr. Andrew Weil

David Walker

Madeleine Bordallo

Neil deGrasse Tyson / Bill Bradley

Malcolm Gladwell

Gina Kolata

Conn Iggulden

Richard Preston

Nassi Nicholas Taleb

Salman Rushdie, Jane Fonda

Jann Wenner

William Langewiesche

Walter Isaacson

Howard Dean

Randy Kearse, Rep. Tom Delay

Jared Diamond

John Amaechi

Bay Buchanan, Bob Deans

Jimmy Wales

Rep. Jan Schakowsky, Leon Botstein

Jessica Valenti

Carl Bernstein

Cullen Murphy

Dr. Michael D. Gershon

Josh Wolf

Rep. Ron Paul

Daniel B. Smith